The "inner child" is the child within you; your essence. No matter what age you are, it is never too late to meet this child.
He is wounded, looking for someone to meet the needs that were unmet when he felt all alone in his world.
When you meet your inner child he may be a few months old, two years old, six years old, ten years old, sixteen years old. This is because the child has been hurt repeatedly at different stages of his development.
Before the age of seven he had no ability to reason. He didn't know how to reason that mom is just tired or dad is drunk. All he knew was that he was feeling unsafe and scared.
After the age of seven he had already developed most of his defenses; had already formed the roots of his addictions that will play out in his later life.
The child was doing his utmost to hide the shame that enveloped him by wearing the masks he was cleverly learning to create and wear in order to protect himself and to provide some semblance of safety in his little world.
The most effective way to get in touch with your inner child is through guided imagery but there is a need for a therapist/facilitator to assist you in this experience. For this reason I will not be including it on this page. However, if this is something you feel may be for you don't hesistate to seek out a good therapist/counsellor close to your home to assist you.
There are, however, some safe techniques that you can use on your own that will bring you closer to that child within you. Are you ready to meet your inner child? He has been waiting a long time to meet you.
DIALOGUE WITH THE CHILD:
Are you right-handed? Then take a crayon in your left hand. This will assist you in feeling the presence of the child. Allow the child to print whatever he wishes to say.
Then take the crayon in your right hand and respond to the child.
Continue this dialogue and allow the child to be heard. It is something he has been needing.
Something else you can try on your own is
ART THERAPY
Using crayons draw your family of origin.
Later, journal about how your inner child was feeling in this picture you have drawn.
ADULT'S JOB FUNCTION..things you, the adult, need to do for your "inner child."
Set boundaries.
Express Feelings.
Nurture the child within.
Master conflict resolution.
Stand up for the child.
Give the child a voice.
Make sure the child is seen.
Reach out and get support for the child.
Work independently and with your therapist.
Determine what the child's needs are.
Get the child's needs met.
Determine who are "safe" people.
Make things happen.
Take risks.
Make decisions.
Manage the "critical parent" within you.
Drop defenses or put up defenses when appropriate.
Provide balance in your child's life.
Make sure there is enough time for relaxation & fun.
Make the child's dreams come true.
Help the child through his fears.
Be responsible.
Be fair.
Be moral and have ethics.
Don't let the child get out of control.
See and make choices.
Stay in your power or allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Implement healthier behavioural patterns.
Reality testing/Probability testing.
"Do for your inner child what his earlier care-givers were unable to do. Love the child."
IT'S ALL ABOUT CHOICE
HAVE CHOICES
MAKE CHOICES
AFFIRMATION
"All is well in my world. I think of the rose and I give myself permission to love myself for who I am. I give myself permission to love and cherish the child within me. When I feel ready I will blossom like the rose and be who I really am. All is well in my world."
