by

Mindy Mackay

LOVE THYSELF

I am not petite I am not always wise

I am not striking with enticing eyes

I do not cower and I do not hide

I am not afraid for I'm strong inside

I can be stubborn and I can be blunt

I can be witty and I can be fun

But beauty lies only within one's own heart

So add yourself up and make your fresh start

Loving yourself is a definite must

Find within yourself love, and within yourself trust

And then you shall find what I see inside me

Take a deep breath, just let yourself breathe

Find your true calling seek out your own star

See your imperfections and accept who you are

Acknowledge your perks, your faults and your cares

Let it all speak about you, and make others aware

That you're you, You're yourself, You are real and  alive

Your soul still shines brightly when observed through your eyes

And only when you can love your own self

Can you open your heart to love someone else,

So take in all of you and hold yourself close

Love yourself, be yourself, and just make the most...

Of your life, your reason for being right here

Celebrate living and conquer your fears

Take in the scenery, walk very slow

Enjoy all your blessings, and feel your soul grow

Set yourself free you're the one who knows best

Spread wings and fly, and put freedom to test

And when you reach the end of your flight

Feel the magic sparkling ever so so bright

Inside you as you lay down one last time

Feel your accomplishments, feel yourself shine

Let your soul now fly free, your body at rest

It is time to relax now, there will be no more tests

Of your faith, your beliefs, your limits and pride

All that matters is in life you held your head high

You were who you were, you did what you could

Life will go on and well that it should

So close your eyes gently now, be not afraid

Die as yourself, you, the person you made

Sleep sound and forget the torments of past

Hold onto your memories and make them all last

And as for the last time you breathe into your lungs

Make love to the universe and make yourself one.

WHEN THE WORLD STOOD STILL

When I was lost and wandering around in my own self-servitude

And I thought that there was no one out there to help me find my way

Or at least be there to support my steps into life

The world was whirling around me at warp speed, not wanting to stand still

It dizzied me with its apparent race to some unknown destination

I know the fear and helplessness I felt at those times

I know how hurried I felt to make a decision on everything

But I learned to make decisions.  That matters.

I know how easily it appeared the lives of others were going

And I also know that the Earth was certainly revolving at a faster pace than I could manage

My steps were small, it seemed, in comparison to the leaps of others into their futures

Ha! I know to myself that those were no small steps I took

I leapt with the rest of them, only to discover my leaps were still viewed as crawling

But I know that I made leaps of faith and I know that there were times

  where my feet seemed they would never land again

And still the world kept turning, and the Earth kept making its circles.

There were moments as a mother I thought that the world was laughing at my approaches

There were times when I myself thought that I was a disgrace when I stumbled on my way

I thought I was alone in making these important decisions but surrounded by

  those that knew 'better' than me.

I know that all my final decisions in some areas of my life were probably not the most

  informed or the best route

But I learned from them.  That matters.

There were times when I thought that people were out to get me and attack my every action

There were times when I thought that everyone was on my side.

I was wrong.  Oh, how I was wrong.

And don't you know that world kept on spinning, and I was more disoriented than ever.

And don't you know that my eyes were crossed from the rocketing dance.

But my eyes,they were not closed.   They were wide open.  That matters.

A giant leap I take in my life.  Half a country from the place I know as home,

Recognition, at least, that I had finally taken a bigger step than what they recognized  

  beforehand

And still, the world keeps spinning, although now at a much slower rate

I could see the way that things were going in my so called life

Observation is a great wonderful thing.  Acceptance matters.

I could see the way my peers did not even acknowledge my existence in their world

When had I become so invisible?  When had I become so lost in the crowd?  Unnoticed?

And as the Earth slowed down its dance just one more speed for me...

I felt a realization set in.  The dizzying race of the world slowed down..

Everything became clear and the haze around me faded ever so slowly...

There I stood.

And I watched.  And I thought.   And I thought some more.

I had lost myself so very long ago.  Lost to the walls in my mind and the shadow from my  

  past

Locked myself into some torture chamber way of thinking inside my very own brain

When had I created all these walls?  When had I stopped allowing myself to

  breathe the same air as everyone else?

When had I lost myself into the crowd and allowed everyone else to do the same?

I knew no answers.  My brain apparently thought the truth too much for even me to handle

And that, my friends, that matters.

What matters is that I kept my eyes open.  I accepted the answers when they came to me

I did not hide from them.  I listened to myself declaring in so many ways that I was lost

I had always known I was lost.  I had always known there was something missing

And at the moment when the world stood still...

At that moment when everything slowed down...

At the very moment where the spinning stopped and I saw things in a clearer view

I found a small piece of the puzzle that is me.

I reached out my hand and grasped it with all the strength that I could muster.

And I placed it in my heart.   And I placed it in my memory.

And that matters.

And now this world just keeps on spinning.  It dances on, not waiting for anyone who might   have fallen behind

I know that I am still not all where I should be in my life, perhaps far from it, even.

But I have a better understanding of what I missed while I was led astray and I am working 

  towards finding those pieces of myself once again

I know that truth, whether to myself or of myself, is out there.

I know that this world will not stand aside and wait for me.

I know that people can be my friends, and that I can trust them to certain extents

But I also know that I am responsible for taking care of myself, taking care of my daughter

I know that I am a part of some much bigger picture, the world, and if the world will not wait, 

  then nor will I

I will no longer stand alone and afraid of my future.  I will not live in my past.

But I will learn from my past and I will work towards my future.

That counts.  That matters.

And I owe it all to the day the world stood still.

The day everything slowed to a less than moderate pace and allowed me to see

To see myself, to grasp that missing link.  A piece of the eternal puzzle.

The day the world stood still...

I danced.

And I set my soul free.

THE SPARROW AND THE FALCON

Alone she flies through irridescent clouds

Following rainbowsthat never seem to end

Dipping, diving, fluttering on the breeze

Looking for a friend

Flowers bloom below her sky-made dance

Trees reach toward the rays of sun

Making spiral waltzes on the wind

To a stranger, it appears all in fun

But this sparrow knows hard times past

Cold winters and people in her world below

So for now she floats in this fantasy world

And only the sparrow knows

The raven screams his shrill outcry

and watches the world through judging eyes

Aware of all that goes on in the world

With his head held high in pride

Ebony wings he carries long

But this bird sings no gleeful song

For though he thinks the world his own

He feels no place in his heart as home

The lonely sparrow flies on and on

Singing out to the raven her own sad song

Finding care but nothing else there

She leaves him and she spirals on

This airborn dance becomes a lonesome thing

The world below now calling our her name

The fantasy realm she's dwelled in so long

Dissipates and forces her to admit to her wrongs

There's life!  There's people!  There's beauty below!

Gems found in the shadowed ruff do show!

The flowers still bloom, and the trees still reach

The waves resound upon the beach

The sparrow peers from beneath her wing

Eyes opening wider she begins to sing

When over the bluff a falcon's cry

Her heart beats fast and her ears do ring

The small sparrow shakes madly in fear

Knowing of the dangers here

But the falcon is a lonely bird

Whose own song had not been heard

The falcon advances and spreads his own wings

Melding the sparrow into his own being

Embraced together as friends they now sing

No dangers other than the care that they bring

The falcon knows also of times gone by

When betrayal was found in another's eyes

He too had flown for far too long

Chasing those same rainbows, distant and forlorn

But now these two creatures fly together by day

Knowing they have found their way

To the beauty below they had lost for a time

This story is his and this story is mine

The falcon being a strong bird of prey

The sparrow always waiting for another day

But together they shine where shadows fall

Voiding voices of others they'll have it all

Their flights may be tremulous and full of doubts

But their hearts would be empty had they gone without

Taking a chance and trusting again

Now they are lovers, but most of all, friends

The lesson here is not difficult to see

When all seems lost and the heart seems empty

Love can be found if one learns to trust

And faith be restored, for free souls are a must

Together two beings can find love astray

Chance they not leave it for another day

Open your eyes and open your heart

For over your own boundary, there is your new start

Love can show us the most beautiful way

Honesty brings trust and trust brings another day

Of love, of life, of everything we crave

So take that chance and ride that wave

Find that rainbow, sing your own song

Fear not the ones you have feared for so long.

Take a chance and you will see,

Just how that falcon came to me.

MY RAINBOW

If my life were a rainbow, what colours might it be?

I think it would be many for the things that I feel

I see love in my life, vibrant and red

I see sorrow as well, darkest blue and well fed

I see hope that resembles the yellow of the sun

I see purple for joys and everything fun

There is also a green for those times when it seems

Jealousy ruled and then there was greed

Then there is black for the moments I felt

Alone and afraid, my confidence killed

White would be the moments so pure

When I was young and my steps were unsure

Grey are the moments when time stood still

Pink is the shade for the caring I feel

Silver is the colour that frequented my life

Hard decisions to make, insecurity and strife

But gold can be found if you look really close

The friends and the family when I needed them most

A rainbow of colours make up myself

There are many reflections that combine into both

My actions and choices, the things I have done

The times when I stand and the times that I run

Everyone has their own colours, you see

Yours are your own and mine are for me

Design your own rainbow and then you might find

The answers you're seeking, that's how I found mine.

Whether they're bright or if they are dim

All you must do is journey within

There in yourself is where you will seek

The answers and troubles and memories deep

From the beginning we then start the past

Gather your blessings and gather them fast

Then fix them together in an arching rainbow

For as your hues blend it is then that you'll know

Take all your shades, be them dark, be them light

Design your true rainbow and study its might

Its beauty, its experience, colours that run

See it as you and then you are done,

Every rainbow will vary in size

It will vary in colour and vary inside

Everyone has their own special mix

The shades dwelling inside you are your very own pick

Compare your rainbow to others you know

And let this be your guide to show

That everyone goegs through their own trials in life

Have their own weaknesses and their own strengths

Allow everyone to be different and free

Happiness rules, just live and let be.

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