Ozan Helvacioglu
THE RED POET'S
WOMAN
Woman, never think through the passing days
I've changed a lot with my feelings
Still crazy, your angry boy
All right woman, time's passing by
But still the same again
Same consolation, same you all the same
Woman, do you think I don't need
Your pity, your talking at sleepless midnight so sweet?
Maybe more than yesterday
You know well by what I said or couldn't say
All broken hearts deeply inside
All my life turning out to be a fading light
A little bit comfort come closer to me
When I can remember your love hardly
Every night on my trembling lips
With your name, woman, and my eyes in tears
Woman, only you in my life inside the smoke
Never deceived, never told lies and never put me
into the block
Please woman, don't ask what I've had
If I can tell you how bad
How left, how thrown away
Woman, believe me how I need you today.
WHERE IS HERE?
So early
Between day and night
The village on mountain is in sleep
The brigands, too
And my first cigarette
The same routine start
One more time
Where is here?
A very small room
- open the window
- go to the bath
- have a glass of water
Watchman coughs
The cook washes the dishes
Where am I?
And where are you babe?
In my memories just like a dead, old relative
Offended by the sun
And sparkling admiration
Just angry
With the little picture of a woman inside the wallet
Opposite my room, a park with three benches
A white bearded old man
Are few spoiled puppies
Playing for me?
Or does he watch me?
However, he thought he was the only one tired of living at this time
A few days to death
And another cigarette
Where is here?
Am I in the army again?
Is she about to get married?
A red key at the door
- stop the alarm clock
- find a clean shirt
- wear your tie
The guy at next door opens T.V.
A serious voice reads the news
Where am I?
And where is my dream?
SO SHORT
All started
All started for the sake of a flower
Whose buds are unknown
All lived
All lived in another world
Whose sky is limited
TWO HEARTS
Heaven and hell
And four books
Hundred thousand letters
Shadowy mountains
Torn flag
-- said the Prophet
Hot wind
Young students on the dirty snow
Graves and livings
Poor boy engaged to pain
Evil fate in the sky
Dark clouds
-- said the Prophet
At night two hearts can't no longer sleep
And some ashes come together inside
New pains
New yearnings
And very new dyings
Cruelties white
Worries red
Late lovings come together inside
-- said the Prophet
Broken villages
Silent mountains
At night two hearts can't no longer sleep
Morning papers
Dead soldiers
Night workers
Second-hand hopes
Early morning cries
At nights two hearts can't no longer sleep
And the sun rises, first over sidesides
On our faces, the same bird takes breath
We can hear
Some green water
In pink sky
Cigarette and gin
Istanbul
Too hot
Town taverns with a few wooden tables
So early
Dirty children
Baby women at windows
-- said the Prophet
At nights two hearts can't no longer sleep
My wife
Messages make me smile
My wife
Cleans the windows
My wife
Bloody lips
A new born rose
Rainy mountains
Limited revenges
Poor frauds
-- said the Prophet
At nights two hearts can't no longer sleep.
THE REVENGE
Nonsense sentences bother the loneliness
in a rainy spring morning
Something dies inside me with memories
And downstairs a cheap man washes the dishes
Out of half-opened window goes the nice smoke
My lips refuse touching my dirty glass for the first time
But the rain, insisting and angry
A motherless street puppy
Who knows where those noise cars go just now ?
I, in a small hotel room of the exiled town
Scared of sleeping with a stranger
On the walls, without a pen, write some words I just can read
Puzzles, novels, laceworks and magazines
My young wife talks on the phone from far
Today I'm a fool friend
Babe, I'm a wise enemy today
Going around the town at midnight
And sometimes very early in the morning
A letter of resignation in my pocket, so sensitive
No, maybe suicide, so ordinary
Today you're a coward schizoid
My God, you're a raw lesbian today
I imagine of walking up to that village at the top of the mountain
Then turning back down in a shame
Watching the town, their nice town
The same old far peace comes when I remember my youth
And hardly visible calls my name my married secretary lover
She and her lies
She and her affection
One more time I break the bottles on the understanding walls of my room
Everyplace, without a pen, write the swearings in a strange language
For everything, for everybody
Just except me and that female evil
Save the country the educated people of town
Around the broken tables with cards and greed
Under the air smelling sweat and breath
They wear ruffled suits without ties
And the moon rises up, spoiled and proud
I make love to myself before a female mirror
Babe, today I love theft
Stealing the good wills from the stupid people of town
By the way, your voice smells of false yearning and false loving
More and more I'm getting upset, you've to know, getting so close
To the grumbling midnight, so suitable for murder
For some madness, all of a sudden rebels my brain
I must put off the lights, all the doors have been already locked, and hide in a corner
But it's going away
Leaving me half
My face, drunk, is in red mist
Trembling my ugly hands
And sweaty disabled feet
Don't obey their poor owner anymore
I'm absent probably today
Babe, tonight I'm absent
Today, you're a cruel hunter
My God, you're Azrael tonight
Very well I know, you're taking revenge.
SNOWIN' ON ME
Flyin' over the sea
No limit
Before the wind
I'm in love
Tipsy
Singin' a honey song
Very steep
For my own livin'
Snowin' on me
Into the night
From rainy, dark mind
Together
With singin' of the outside
And at a gallop
Through the smooth blues
Snowin' on me
Little by little
Where is your voice?
Day by day
Singin' forgotten songs
Into the snowy nights
On the way to exile
Before the wind
Where is your voice
Snowin' on me
No morning
No evening
This blues
Doesn't wake me up
I can't
Into the lost lovin'
For your love
Snowin' on me
And me on a misty
Mirror
As if I've got your letter
Darlin'
I didn't dream
Got your letter
Babe
RIOT IN MY ROOM
Never put my voice on yours
During the dark night
Even the flame of suicide has grown through your grieved heart
Not yet
Not broken the branches of hatred and rage
Never lie my body down on yours
Around some exiled breeze
Dying is never a sinner
Just look at the pictures
And there if I'm crying
I'm never sorry
Inside the grave you dug on my heart
'cos I've broken all the bottles on the wall
And armful of angers
Sounds made of pains
Over an ordinary middle age
Never touch my lips on yours
Anymore I don't get scared of the shadows at my door
Dirty carpet, stained mirror, broken bed
During the dark night
What is that woman still waiting for?
Why aren't you moving
In your spring sleep?
Never send me a message now
I'm not lonely anymore
Too much to death
Together with the crazy wind
Deep inside womb of the naked water
NO TIME FOR YOU
You've left lovings into tomorrows
Shy, honest and respectful
All your friends
Have known you wrong
Even if a short time is enough
For telling all
Feelings of your heart have remained
Where they were born first
Because of the unfinished problems
But you've never hoped so
You've dreamed of long times
It's been ugly to talk about love
In short times
For you
Who have never thought
How quick the years pass
In daily hurries
At your secret garden
The colourful flowers have been blooming
Alone and wet
Either they've been little to be given
Or no time you've had
